What did you come here to teach me…

Something about the beach feels like home. Like I can close my eyes and feel the water surrounding me, hear the smooth crash of the soft waves pull back and forth and hear the long, beautiful silence of the beach. It’s the most wonderful feeling.

Deep down I knew this last trip would be a return home in many ways. Panama was my first “Semi Solo” trip and my intuition told me it would be my last. Perhaps I was tired or perhaps I was making room for the next chapter but this “part of the journey” I had wandered and fulfilled my dreams. I stepped back to jump forward and the puzzle-piece that had been missing for so many years was in its place. I did it and all the steps were out of order, but I did it all so now that this jigsaw puzzle was finally complete, I could put it all to rest. I could sigh a breath of relief and be still. I could sit back and breathe. My peace, my tranquility and calm were here when I closed my eyes I could see my heart – my family. I didn’t need to run anymore I just needed to go home. So, the moment everything came together, it all fell apart because it had served its purpose. And once I stood still long enough, I understood.

Love letter to me 2015

Semi Solo and whatnot

So, what have you learned from your semi solo trips? …

In the last several years I have taken multiple trips to different countries and each time I have travelled I have arrived at a new destination with new people, new food, new colloquial expressions and new idiosyncrasies. Although all this newness always comes in like a whirlwind as soon as I step foot in the airport, the real emotional shift always hits me as I sit down on the airplane to return home. It’s the realization that another journey has concluded with its ups and downs, and soon, I will return to my home, with my comfort food and recognizable routine as if nothing changed. But it always does. I find that the distance makes the notion of home seem so luxurious as if it’s a treasure that I never realized I possessed. And my hours wandering in the woods suddenly seem so invaluable. This was the most evident when I visited Bogota. Although it was a short visit, it felt like I was there for months, and it inspired me to brush up on my 0+ (barely/perhaps a stretch) Spanish proficiency levels. Since everywhere I went it was necessary to have phrases readily available to use and that was something I wasn’t prepared for. So, on this semi solo trip I learned that being away from recognizable idiosyncrasies, words and references is truly forcing yourself out of your comfort zone and as a result you can either blossom or wither. Some say Bogota is the New York of Colombia, I’ll be better equipped next time. Goodbye COLOMBIA!

Just wandering in the woods (again)…

T: You don’t care enough that’s why you don’t have a blog.

C: No, I just don’t have any extra time!

T: You’re not doing anything just wandering in the woods.

C: Well, I don’t want to spend my down time doing anything.

From that moment forward, I couldn’t get the pestering thought out of my mind. Why had I stopped writing? It was my passion, my joy, my form of expression, it was never a burden. I had simply forgotten the feeling of creating and learned to live without it. I was moving through life, checking off boxes and going through the motions. Fulfilling every obligation and ignoring everything else. So, this is day one of many of Wanderland reflections/blog/journal or creations as I return home from the place that I instantly embraced as home away from home. The question I keep returning to is why did I fall in love with this country. So, I close my eyes and replay the highlights of my time there. And I remember feeling at peace, a sense of freedom, the warmth of the sun, the familiarity of mountain peaks and the crisp chill in the air. Learning new words as I passed a sign and listening to a store clerk repeat a sentence 2 times …agau sin gas? and the constant sound of music and chatter which often faded into background noise this was my routine. Waking up with the sense that a mini adventure awaited me as I navigated my way on the metro, trying to remember how to say “how much does this cost”, and exploring a few new blocks seeing if I could communicate a bit more or recognize one or two more words. Santiago was special because I truly had moments where I wandered, discovered and learned quietly and confidently. I loved every magical moment. Chao Chao Chile until next time mi amor….