I would tell her to just be selfish

There are moments in life when you simply need to remind yourself that you are enough. In order to do that, you have to have enough self confidence to come up with the words that are both comforting and inspiring.

I’ve been told that nothing is impossible, and certain things aren’t meant for me. I’ve been told to follow my heart, and I’ve been told to always be mindful of others. And I’ve been told to say what I really want move in that direction, but move with caution. I’ve been told many conflicting things, but I have found out that the most important words come from within. What I tell myself when I am not sure of the next step, or when I am scared to truly articulate my thoughts into actions. I tell myself to move, just move, take a step, and move. Be bold.

Forget your failures and mistakes because the lesson is over. Sometimes we have to fail over and over until our failures are no longer setbacks; they simply push us closer to our goals.

Ask yourself…what are my goals and how long will I pursue them?

It took me many years to invest in me and appreciate my own value. But once I knew my own worth there were no more excuses. I don’t have many profound words of wisdom or a wonderful magic toolbox to fix every unforeseeable problem.

But if I could sit with my 19 year old self, I would tell her how special she is and that there is no need to be so unsure. I would tell her to just be selfish.

Be freaking selfish, know your worth and love yourself. Wait for no one to validate you just get your own stamp of approval. Stop hesitating and move boldly towards your goals. The world is your drawing board so dream big, hold tight to your dreams and pursue your passions with unwavering focus and perseverance.

Most importantly I would tell her,

“Some things aren’t that serious. Just smile!”

Semi Solo and whatnot

So, what have you learned from your semi solo trips? …

In the last several years I have taken multiple trips to different countries and each time I have travelled I have arrived at a new destination with new people, new food, new colloquial expressions and new idiosyncrasies. Although all this newness always comes in like a whirlwind as soon as I step foot in the airport, the real emotional shift always hits me as I sit down on the airplane to return home. It’s the realization that another journey has concluded with its ups and downs, and soon, I will return to my home, with my comfort food and recognizable routine as if nothing changed. But it always does. I find that the distance makes the notion of home seem so luxurious as if it’s a treasure that I never realized I possessed. And my hours wandering in the woods suddenly seem so invaluable. This was the most evident when I visited Bogota. Although it was a short visit, it felt like I was there for months, and it inspired me to brush up on my 0+ (barely/perhaps a stretch) Spanish proficiency levels. Since everywhere I went it was necessary to have phrases readily available to use and that was something I wasn’t prepared for. So, on this semi solo trip I learned that being away from recognizable idiosyncrasies, words and references is truly forcing yourself out of your comfort zone and as a result you can either blossom or wither. Some say Bogota is the New York of Colombia, I’ll be better equipped next time. Goodbye COLOMBIA!

Just wandering in the woods (again)…

T: You don’t care enough that’s why you don’t have a blog.

C: No, I just don’t have any extra time!

T: You’re not doing anything just wandering in the woods.

C: Well, I don’t want to spend my down time doing anything.

From that moment forward, I couldn’t get the pestering thought out of my mind. Why had I stopped writing? It was my passion, my joy, my form of expression, it was never a burden. I had simply forgotten the feeling of creating and learned to live without it. I was moving through life, checking off boxes and going through the motions. Fulfilling every obligation and ignoring everything else. So, this is day one of many of Wanderland reflections/blog/journal or creations as I return home from the place that I instantly embraced as home away from home. The question I keep returning to is why did I fall in love with this country. So, I close my eyes and replay the highlights of my time there. And I remember feeling at peace, a sense of freedom, the warmth of the sun, the familiarity of mountain peaks and the crisp chill in the air. Learning new words as I passed a sign and listening to a store clerk repeat a sentence 2 times …agau sin gas? and the constant sound of music and chatter which often faded into background noise this was my routine. Waking up with the sense that a mini adventure awaited me as I navigated my way on the metro, trying to remember how to say “how much does this cost”, and exploring a few new blocks seeing if I could communicate a bit more or recognize one or two more words. Santiago was special because I truly had moments where I wandered, discovered and learned quietly and confidently. I loved every magical moment. Chao Chao Chile until next time mi amor….